Friday, February 18, 2011

Almost a month now...

I haven't posted in a while! To be honest, I haven't been that great as of late at pursuing my inner artist. Instead, I recently finished watching the last season of Ugly Betty on netflix. I am slightly ashamed that I have spent so much time watching that show.

I did, however, learn from watching Betty blossom. I found myself very jealous of this fictional but inspiring character. In this show, Betty knows what she wants. She succeeds because she ignores the people ridiculing her. She doesn't give up. I want to be like her!

Anyway I started this blog to pursue my writing. But after reading a few chapters of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, I am realizing that I'm not exactly sure that being a writer is the only thing that I want.

You see I want to do so many things. I want to learn how to decorate beautiful cakes. I want to act. I want to play piano. I want to sing. I want to write children's books.

Instead, I am fixating on the fact that I feel excluded by some people, therefore I must have nothing of value to give. Or I am spending any free time I have (after spending time with husband and baby, cleaning the house, exercising, talking on the phone, etc. etc. ) watching tv.

What I've realized is this: I am deathly afraid of being alone with myself.

If I was alone with myself for more than the five minutes in the shower, I would have to get to know ME. Which could lead to possible artistic exploration. Which then could lead to possible embarrassment because I've put myself out there, and am rejected by the world or worst of all...myself.

So my goal of the week is to spend some time with myself. Find out what I am passionate about.
And go for it. It might take longer than a week, but you have to start somewhere, right?

Wish me luck!

Sunday out.

2 comments:

  1. Go for it!!! I've found that it really helps if I don't turn the TV on once dinner is done and baby is in bed. Russ and I talk more, I read more, I practice the piano more all because I actually have to seek out something to do to fill the time instead of being passively entertained by lame TV shows that I don't really care about anyway. GO FOR IT! Find the inner-Rach at it will be so "tight yo!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a really good goal! Sometimes I feel like I'm just keeping time too, and not really pursuing anything meaningful. I'm glad you're making time to explore your artistic interests. Good luck on your mission!

    ReplyDelete

 

The Sunday Driver | Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial License | Dandy Dandilion Designed by Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates