Still a writer's blog!

Just to let y'all know, I still am going to use this as a writer's blog/a display of my journey through Julia Cameron's book. My rant in the previous post was enlightening, but did not mean I was going to stop writing. I can write AND do other things too!

I spent about an hour this morning working on my short story.

So. fun.

Maybe I'll post it here, once I've edited it and such.

Just wanted to let you avid Sunday readers know: Sunday is still writing.

Sunday out.

Almost a month now...

I haven't posted in a while! To be honest, I haven't been that great as of late at pursuing my inner artist. Instead, I recently finished watching the last season of Ugly Betty on netflix. I am slightly ashamed that I have spent so much time watching that show.

I did, however, learn from watching Betty blossom. I found myself very jealous of this fictional but inspiring character. In this show, Betty knows what she wants. She succeeds because she ignores the people ridiculing her. She doesn't give up. I want to be like her!

Anyway I started this blog to pursue my writing. But after reading a few chapters of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, I am realizing that I'm not exactly sure that being a writer is the only thing that I want.

You see I want to do so many things. I want to learn how to decorate beautiful cakes. I want to act. I want to play piano. I want to sing. I want to write children's books.

Instead, I am fixating on the fact that I feel excluded by some people, therefore I must have nothing of value to give. Or I am spending any free time I have (after spending time with husband and baby, cleaning the house, exercising, talking on the phone, etc. etc. ) watching tv.

What I've realized is this: I am deathly afraid of being alone with myself.

If I was alone with myself for more than the five minutes in the shower, I would have to get to know ME. Which could lead to possible artistic exploration. Which then could lead to possible embarrassment because I've put myself out there, and am rejected by the world or worst of all...myself.

So my goal of the week is to spend some time with myself. Find out what I am passionate about.

And go for it. It might take longer than a week, but you have to start somewhere, right?

Wish me luck!

Sunday out.

Things I Enjoy Doing

List twenty one things you enjoy doing. When was the last time you let yourself do these things?

**Don't feel bad if you don't read through the list. Some of these things I could do for my artist date (which has yet to happen)

1. Baking/Cooking (last week/two nights ago)

2. Writing (today)

3. Playing flute (a couple of months)

4. Playing piano (a couple of months)

5. Making love (that's my business :D)

6. Running (last week)

7. Reading (yesterday)

8. Playing with my baby (today)

9. Going to the movies (last week)

10. Going on walks (yesterday)

11. Going to the beach (months ago)

12. Going to art museums (months ago)

13. Eating delicious pastries (last month)

14. Traveling without baby (love that girl, but it's hard!) (last April)

15. Writing letters to my husband (months ago)

16. Girls' Night (last week)

17. Taking naps (last Saturday)

18. Driving with nowhere to go (especially to see nature) (can't remember! couple of years)

19. Camping (couple of years)

20. Going to the temple (last May? can't remember. so sad.)

21. Chatting with friends on the phone (a couple of days ago)

Imaginary Lives

If you had five other lives to lead, what would you do in each of them?

1. Peace Corps worker

2. Pastry Chef

3. Secret Agent

4. Actor

5. Anthropologist

What about y'all? What would you do? Julia Cameron encouraged me to do something in one of those lives this week. Perhaps I can learn how to make that yummy pastry I had in Barcelona?

Now in THIS life, I did not submit anything to the BYU thing. The deadline was today. Blerg. I have, however, started working on my story for the short story writing contest that is due March 1st. At least I'm working towards something!

Sunday out.

Time Travel

List old enemies of your creative self-worth.

1. My dad. This is specifically towards writing. (Let the record state, however, he was extremely supportive in my flute and piano playing). I just remember when I told him that I wanted to be a journalist (this is when I was about 10), he said "I don't want to be paying your bills until you're 40."

2. BYU peeps that rejected me twice from doing the program that helped you prepare to go to graduate school in English. They were verifying the fears I had all along, that I didn't fit the mold to be literary in any way. I would have to wear five different layers of clothes (all different colors, of course) and carry around a mac laptop. I would have to be single and perhaps have very short hair.

3. ME. I am extremely critical of myself, to the point where it is easier to just get distracted with something else, instead of trying and then making a fool of myself.

List champions of your creative self-worth.

1. My junior high English teacher, Mrs. Boyle. My short story was selected to represent my junior high in a short story competition. I remember it won honorable mention or something...Anyway, I remember Mrs. Boyle beaming with pride when she told me. For the first time, I had the thought that maybe I could be a writer.

2. My mom. She has ALWAYS supported me creatively. She signed me up for acting lessons. She let me take voice lessons, flute lessons, piano lessons...when it comes to anything creative she is definitely supportive. It helps that she is a creative junkie herself. :)

3. My husband. He is supporting me in this 12-week process, and has given me the words of affirmation that I need to repeat in my head when I am doubting myself. Oh and he's supporting the family too, which is enabling me to stay at home and write to my heart's content (while my baby naps).

Sunday out.

I love deadlines

So far I'm starting off the program well. I did not do a task yesterday (my in-laws came in town), but I did do my morning pages. My plan is to do one to two tasks today (some of them are fairly short), and to start on a new project!

I just got an email this morning from the editor of Inscape, which is the literary journal at Brigham Young University. I worked on three editions of this journal as an editor when I attended BYU, so I'm pretty familiar with it.

Anyway they have just decided to open up submissions to this journal to alumni! They take poems, fiction, and nonfiction. The due date is January 24th. I love deadlines. I have a hard time getting going without them.

I definitely think that if you make a decision to work on something and actually get started, God helps you out. But you have to take the first step. This is not to say that I am destined to be published in this journal, but I may be destined to try.

Sunday out.

Julia Cameron's 12 Week Program

This is my new project, peeps! I just got the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I am so excited to tackle her 12 week program and to actually move forward with my writing.

Her book is not geared specifically towards writers. It is a book that helps artists of any kind to break out of their creative shell and emerge as beautiful artist butterflies. {Yes, I realize I just combined two metaphors in one sentence. Hehe.} This book is about helping you be in tune with your Creator; whether it is the creator inside you, or the Creator that you believe in {in my case, it is God}.

Two things that I am supposed to do no matter what week of the program it is, include the following:

1. Morning Pages--These are three pages I will write longhand. No editing, and no one looks at it except for me. And I don't even read it until the 8th week.

2. Artist Date--At least once a week I will take myself on a two hour date. Just me and the artist within. Sounds corny, I know. But I'm stoked. I rarely have any time to myself when I am not worrying about the house, baby, husband, etc. etc.

I'll keep you posted on the tasks I'm tackling, and the writing projects I am doing. Currently I don't have very many writing projects, but I am determined to change that soon!

Sunday out.